According to the American Association for Marriage and Family therapy, around 25% of men have had an extramarital affair. Cheating is, unfortunately, more common than many of us like to consider. If you suspect they might be cheating, it’s hard to know for certain, but there are signs you can look out for. The exact signs will depend on the person and the situation, but common signs include:
In the modern age, a lot of affairs are established online, either through dating sites or social media apps. You may notice that your husband is suddenly using the phone or computer a lot more and perhaps has starting to add passwords to their devices. If you’re also seeing that your partner is regularly deleting texts or messages and browsing history, this may also be a strong sign for suspicion. If you do happen to find messages or chats to an unknown person, you can use a site such as CheckPeople.com. These background check sites can find out more information about a person, including your husband.
Did your husband also have a routine and work times, which has suddenly become erratic? This could be a potential sign that they’re meeting someone else. Sometimes you might find that your partner suddenly isn’t reachable at certain times. They’ll no longer be picking up calls or answering messages when this never used to be a problem. Of course, this could also be due to changes at work, but when combined with other signs, you have every right to be suspicious.
Relationships often become less intense over time. However, if you notice a sudden drop in how much affection your partner shows, it may be because they’re cheating. This goes for both sex and general emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy, in particular, will decrease as your husband becomes more focused on their affair. Sex can reduce due to an affair, or it can increase or change in tone. If you notice any of these signs, there’s a good chance that your husband may be involved in a sexual affair.
If you keep track of the regular ingoings and outgoings of your account, perhaps you’ve noticed a sudden increase in spending. These could be purchases on a new credit card or more frequent cash withdrawals. Excess spending is always suspicious and worth confronting your partner about, particularly if they try to hide it. If you’re not usually one to look at the joint account, ask to see the current expenses and see if your husband gets defensive or dismissive of your request.
If you notice any of the above signs, the next step to take might be to confront your husband. If you find that they deflect and avoid the subject, this will only help to confirm your fears. Another way to deal with the situation is through using a background check service. If you’ve noticed that your husband spends more time on their phone or computer, you can try running an online background check. These checks are simple enough to run and can uncover the details of any social media and dating site profiles that your husband might be using. If you find your husband on a dating site, you’ve definitely uncovered his cheating or attempts to cheat and can confront him on the issue with proof.
Sometimes you might be unable to find any evidence of his dating profiles or second social media accounts. This isn’t necessarily a proof that he isn’t cheating, however. If you’ve noticed that he has a conversation on his phone which has had the messages deleted, you can try running a background search of that person. Look to see if they have a dating site profile, and it’s possible that your husband may have met them there. It’s important to remember that just because you see one or even all of the above signs, it doesn’t prove that your husband is cheating. It gives you good reason to suspect, but there is a chance that all of these signs have an innocent explanation. Talk to your partner about it directly if you suspect their infidelity and remember to stay calm and composed.
If you need advice or guidance on the subject, talk to a trusted friend or therapist. You may also want to attend marriage counseling with your partner if you feel like the trust and intimacy in the relationship has broken down.